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To engineer is human...
...to annoy - divine
So so judge-y 
22nd-Aug-2016 12:19 pm
Panic
Facebook is the devil, and I rue the day I ended up with so many... friends of a certain ilk.

Today's tidbit, which I only saw because someone liked a post of someone I'm not friends with (seriously, FB, just show me my actual friends' god damn posts and stop stuffing my news feed with crap they "like" and "comment on"), was about women drinking.

Which they only do because, obviously, men are evil and life is hard as a woman and they refuse to stand up for themselves and are therefore pathetic, horrible creatures and sober, strong women pity and mock them. As you do, when you want to, you know, support your gender, right? Right.

I don't drink a glass of wine on my back patio while knitting or whatever because I'm stressed or don't have enough me time or feel like men are evil. I have that glass of wine because... I like wine. I know, shocker, right? That can't be right! I'm making a *choice* based some on what I *want* and *enjoy*. Certainly not! It can't be! I'm a women, therefore, society, men, evils, blah blah blah.

Look, I get it. There are sexist people out there. It's true. I'm an engineer, not exactly the most "feminine" of fields. I deal with construction workers, which you think would be (based on stereotypes) the least equal-minded.

And yet who do I get the most nasty, judgemental comments from?

Yeah, you guessed it. Women.

I'm not doing enough to fight for equality! (Except, you know, living it) I'm too fat! (Fuck you) I shouldn't like cooking/crafts/girly things! (See: fuck you) I shouldn't like football/guns/cars! (I think you know where I'm going here)

Old-school women who think I should be at home having babies. New, strident feminists who think I'm not vocal or mean enough about the evils of men. Women who judge my hair, my clothes, my body.

Are men judging me? Probably. It's human nature to judge. But oddly, they're not the ones I see/hear the most.

I talked to a guy in line at the grocery store the other day. Perfectly nice chat about nothing, just passing the time. Woman at the grocery store today, eying me up and down and turning away with a sneer (so I look a little frumpy in the ritzy part of town, sue me).

So I'm sorry I won't jump on that bandwagon, I can't handle that much vitriol in my life. I really thought living my life and *showing* that I was equal was enough. I thought making choices that were right for me (because it's about choice, right?) was enough. Apparently, I was wrong.
Comments 
23rd-Aug-2016 06:23 am (UTC)

I think I read that article. I had some highly mixed feelings about it. On one hand, those are reasons some women drink.


On the other, what ever.


But then I'm the weirdo who drinks only a little and not that often. I rarely over indulge, and this last con might have cured me of doing that just because of a negative associated experience. Which is sad, because before that I was actually the most relaxed I'd been in so fucking long. (And it was a man who ruined it alas)


More thinky thoughts but I don't feel like I'm saying things quite right, so I'm going to think on them more to get my wording better.

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