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Panic
The first thing I noticed was waaaaay too much lip smacking. So. Much. It was distracting and annoying through the entire video. I have, I know, gotten entirely too spoiled by watching people like ashens on YouTube (Seriously, if you haven't watched his Poundland Tat reviews, do so! His movie is also awesome and better than a lot produced by large corporations lately, but it does have some in-jokes that are better after you've watched some of his videos). Now I can barely watch people who make videos that are all choppy and horrible.

Okay, so that aside, this session was just about what you'll need for your journal and journalling supplies. I, of course, ignored all of it and am using a ring binder to store my notes and drawings. Because that's how I roll.

Every session starts with three deep breaths, releasing the past, releasing the future, and focusing on the present. That is probably the least problematic thing I've found so far, because, hey, we all need to breath and we all probably should take deeper breaths. So, yeah, breath. Got it.

Then she asked about our intention - what made us sign up. I don't think the honest answer is one she wants me to share with the group - to take the piss out of the course and mercilessly mock it and rail against the utter bullshit you're filling women's minds with.

The next part (after more woo about "feminine powers" and creativity) was just about journalling style, and using different size lettering and styles, using symbols and colors and whatnot. This is probably not bad information, but certainly in any class or seminar of import I've been at I don't have time to do pretty notes. I suppose you could go back and re-do it, but I've never had the energy. Even with these notes, I barely had time to scribble my thoughts haphazardly about the page. Nothing like the very organized and detailed journalling she showed as an example.

That was it for this session, I need to upload some picture for my review of the next one. We get into the meditation and arty things! Yay!

***

My side note for an "All the Feels, A Healing Journalling Journey*" project - pick a word you hate (in my case, the new-age use of the word "juicy") and draw it, make it release its power over you. Confront your word hatred and conquer it!

* Totally never going to happen, but it'd be as good as this, I think!
23rd-Dec-2015 08:29 am - Woman Unleashed
Panic
So, I signed up for a free online seminar. It was suggested by a teacher of an online art course I've been taking, and she said they'd be art, and while I knew there'd be a fair amount of woo bullshit, I thought I could deal with it and just take away the good parts. And, worse case, I'd have something to snarkily blog about. But we're only four days in, and it's not funny. I really feel like they are doing women a serious disservice, for a few specific reasons:

More than once, it's been suggested that women need to work on becoming more magnetic (literally, by laying on the floor, which makes you more... um... magnetized?) and not having to *work* so hard for things. One, this is "laws of attraction" and "the secret" bullshit, and two, you should have to fucking work for the things you want. You'll appreciate them more, and, yeah, work is good for you.

Then! Then! They say that *thinking* is masculine and we, as women, need to "get out of our heads and back into our bodies". Because, obviously, we shouldn't worry our pretty little heads about things, just... feel things? What the fuck? No, thank you, I'll stay in the "hyper-masculine" world of using my fucking brain.

I'll probably post session-by-session recaps later (I do have pictures to post, I'm at least making it somewhat about art) but I just had to vent.

I'm embarrassed to be a woman if this is the fucking shit they peddle and push on each other. We're not all fucking motions, I promise.
3rd-Sep-2015 02:04 pm - Well, then, Facebook...
Panic
I can post absolutely nothing to Facebook, not from my phone, not from my computer.

I can't comment.

I can't even "like" anything.

I suppose now is as good a time as any to take a break from it, but not being able to do anything just makes me want to be able to all the more! Argh.
19th-Aug-2015 10:42 am - Hello blog, I've missed you
Panic
Why did I stop blogging? I used to like it. But I think I got more concerned with trying to say interesting things and not to bore people, and that's not what I liked about it. I prefer venting my spleen and bitching and moaning. You were warned.

Also, I always seem to want to rant while I'm at work, and while Swyping on my phone keyboard is good for short comments and texts, it kinda sucks for longer entries. Plus my phone logged me out, and I had to figure out my password.

And I've been spending more time on Craftster, and trying to avoid Facebook. I find my threshold for the level of bullshit I see has dropped significantly. And what do you do? Arguing with people on the internet accomplishes exactly nothing.

Today I did read an excellent comment thread (never read the comments! Except when they're awesome) on an article about the bullshit claims about some alternative medicine (can some ancient medical practices work? Yes. Are any of them a panacea? Hell no) and felt a little better about humanity, then had a conversation with a co-worker that stripped away all my warm fuzzies.

She was basically talking about all the horrible health effects of fat (omg death fat!) and how even gaining 5 pound effects her breathing and she can't stand gaining weight because it's awful and makes her feel awful. Well, two things. One, I'm sorry that obviously being like me is the worst thing you can imagine. Two, if your breathing is a concern, maybe you should fucking give up smoking. Health trolling: you're doing it wrong.

See, I'm not against skinny people, or people who want to make themselves healthier. But "losing weight" is actually never the answer. It may well indeed be a side effect! But the things people do to themselves to lose weight are often the very opposite of healthy. If you want to be healthier, by all means eat better food, exercise more, meditate, whatever it takes for you. Focus on that.

In the mean time, I'm going to stuff a cookie in my fat face and go on being okay (most of the time) with me just the way I am.
27th-Mar-2015 12:41 pm - HabitRPG
Panic
I haven't died yet, but I did have to buy a health portion once. I'm just now really starting to add things as I get a feel for it. The one thing I wish they had was weekly chores. For now, I'm just setting them as dailies with a Sunday requirement, and what I'll do is check them off on Sunday regardless of what day of the week I did them. I know I could set them as to-dos with due dates on Sunday, but then I'd have to re-enter them every week. Bah!

I did join 2 challenges, the 2015 book challenge and the 2015 reading challenge. I'm going to assume since they say "2015" I can check off the ones I've already done this year, even though I just joined. I'm not so sure about audiobooks, though. They kinda count as books, but... I'm not sure.

Blog posting would be a weekly challenge... I have ones I want to post, but it requires pictures and picture hosting is just... a pain.
25th-Feb-2015 08:52 am - A post about nothing
Panic
I have things to post, honest I do, but they all require more than just my phone, and that's all I have right now. So I'll post about the things I want to post about, I suppose...

In not at all fun news, I have a sinus infection. Yay! I'm on drugs now, because we are suppose to have a performance on Saturday, though now the weather forecast is looking iffy (this particular event was cancelled last year due to snow). So we'll see. I am furiously trying to get some things done to sell at the workshop, but the intermittent stabbing headache and general feeling of blaaaah are making it difficult.

In better news, I do have more writing to post! I've continued, here and there, working on my music meme writing. It's getting me back in the spirit, and that makes me happy.

In further things-to-post news, I have more cleaning/organizing/hoarding books to review. No armoires this time, but still not helpful to me. I don't have the problems they attribute to "chronically disorganized" people, other than being, well, chronically disorganized. I'm not a perfectionist, I don't have emotional attachment to everything, I don't even really have any lack of energy (if I can start a new craft project, I could clean). I'm just lazy. And no self-help book is helping me. Only company motivates me. So... why don't y'all come over? ;)

I also watched a slew of bad SyFy movies that you will be hearing about...
12th-Feb-2015 08:48 am - On the cleaning kick again
Panic
One of my 101 things (which is subsequently part of my yearly goal book) is to go through 10 more cleaning/clutter/organizational books. This is probably a fruitless task, because I'm pretty honest about my problem. I'm not overly emotionally attached to stuff (classic boarder), I'm not a perfectionist (paralyzed into inaction), and I don't actually think I have much stuff (or a shopping problem)... I'm simply lazy. If I bothered to tidy up and put things away my house would be fine. But there's always something more interesting to be doing, and I generally pick that. Why fold that avalanche of fabric when I could go sit over there and knit? Why clean off my art desk when I can work on my clay at my computer desk? Until it reaches critical mass, I'd rather step over piles of laundry and bags of stuff than devote the time to cleaning it.

And it's not that I'm a perfectionist. Because when it hits that point, I have zero problems cleaning up. It's that up until then, it doesn't bother me enough to overcome my inertia. I. Am. Lazy.

No cleaning or self-help book is written about that.

Still, it's on the list, so... today it's Good Things for Organizing by Martha Stewart.

She starts off by saying that you don't have to have a massive kitchen to get it organized, then proceeds to suggest using an armoire in the kitchen to organize things... I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure my definition of "massive kitchen" is one that a freakin' enormous armoire fits in. And, or course, there's advice on not scratching your china or good silver... neither of which is an issue for me.

Sadly, the rest of the book follows pretty much the course you might expect. Enormous rooms are pictured, almost all of the organization tips require pricy purchases (unless you have a garage full of spare armoires), and the rest are off-puttingly snooty (tired of your guest ruining you pristine white towels with their make-up? In each guest set, have a dark-colored hand towel embroidered with the word "make up". No, really!).

There were a few interesting tips, like using finials bookends (because you can screw them into the shelf and they won't move/fall over), but mostly it's a useless book full of organization-porn pictures that will just make you feel inadequate and crap. Because my house sure as hell will never look like that, no matter what I do. It's simply to small and I don't have that much money to spend on all the kitschy antique furniture.

Not recommended.
5th-Feb-2015 06:48 pm - Goals and such
Panic
I have more writing, but it's downstairs on a jump drive, and I am feeling really, really lazy (and I don't need a refill on my drink yet).

I made another goal book for this year, and while I'm too lazy to upload a picture somewhere to put in this post, there are tons of pictures over in the Craftster post. And it explains why I went with 20/15 goals this year (besides being a not-so-subtle play on the year). I just can't let go of things I didn't finish before!

Also, I *finally* found my 101 things list I started back in January of 2014... I have not made great progress on it.

Ones I've completed:
#6- Release 20 Bookcrossing books
My account says 19, but I swear I did 20. Maybe it doesn't count the one I found?
#7 - Participate in a Craftster Challenge
I have done several, though never come close to winning
#9 - Blue Gummy Bear Bellydance outfit
Completed in time for Shimmy for the Cure last year
#35 - Watch 10 of IMDB's bottom 100 movies
Thanks to MST3K, easily done.
#65 - 10 Operation Beautiful cards
More than done! I did a lot...
#74 - Visit IKEA
And never again.
#97 - Pi costume
Made for the picnic in the summer of 2014

Ones I've made some progress on:

#1 - Finish Bathroom
It's close, I'm just not motivated to work on it. :(
#2 - A-Z Movies
I'm missing 4: N, U, X, Y (the last three I understand, but how did I miss out on N?!)
#27 - Take pictures of things that spell out the alphabet
I have about a dozen, I think.
#28 - Read my height in books
Ongoing, I don't actually know where I am with that! Sadly, I mostly do audiobooks...
#50 - Watch all seasons from 5 different shows
I keep getting most of the way through shows and losing steam...
#61 - Watch 5 foreign language films
I've done three! But you can't craft and just listen to them... you have to read!
#66 - 10 new teas
I think I may have done this, but wasn't really keeping track?

But now that I've found it, I can add that goal list to my goal book and keep better track! Hopefully...
4th-Feb-2015 06:05 pmGutterbumberchute!
Panic
Meme Question: Describe yourself

Song 1: Let Me Be the One – Quiet Riot
Inspiration: The theme of the song, which is pretty much in the title as well!
Word Count: 130

She looked at him longingly. Just ask me, she pleaded silently. I know the answer, I can help you! And once we work together, you’ll see how wonderful I am and you’ll start hanging out with me, and then…

Her daydream was cut short...Collapse )

Song 2: Thick as a Brick – Jethro Tull
Inspiration: Song Title
Word Count: 192

“Seriously, I can be a thick as two short planks at times,” Louise murmured to herself as she deleted a piece of code, hopefully the garbage that was causing it to hang up while compiling. Her office mate looked up and grinned.

That must be a Brit expression,Collapse )

Song 3: Serenade of Flames – Serenity
Inspiration: Lyrics – One more night and then in flames you’ll die. Nothing you can do or say will change your fate.
Word Count: 274

The key clanked in the lock and the iron door swung open just far enough to admit a tall man in dark robes. She huddled in the corner, the rags that were her dress clutched around her.

What are you doing here?Collapse )


Song 4: Restless – Within Temptation
Inspiration: It’s a song about a ghost haunting her (heart).
Word Count: 104

She sat at the table, staring at the single candle as the cold winter wind howled outside the door. She’d moved halfway around the world, to this remote Highland village, to try to escape the memories. Nothing could have been further from the hustle and bustle of New York City and the life they’d shared there, but she felt his presence as strongly as she had in their apartment. The place they had loved and laughed and promised to grow old together. The place…

The flame on the candle dipped and guttered as the wind outside shrieked “you killed me, and you will pay…”
4th-Feb-2015 08:24 am - Writing and sundry
Panic
I need to start writing again, because I miss it. The art and crafting are great, but they're seriously putting a big dent in my reading and writing. I think a lot of my problem with getting writing is a lack of motivation/prompts. My alter-ego did well writing semi-smut for kink_bingo, but they took a year off, and I haven't been able to get into any of the other bingo communities... just not really motivating me. So I thought I'd try something. It may or may not work, we'll see.

I'm doing the "put your music player on random and use song titles to answer these questions" memes, and I'm going to try to use those to write very short little snippets. I'm running through each meme four times, so there could be four drabbles per question, or one, depending on how well they go. I could use the sing title, a lyric, or the general meaning/theme of the sing for inspiration.

I've already determined my music player hates me. It plays songs from compilation albums I hate and skips my favorite songs, also lives to repeat itself, a lot. There are something like 7,000 songs in this computer, no way would a random playing have 15 repeats in less than 75 songs!

Anyway, that's the plan. It'll probably fall flat, but we'll see...
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